so i have this big-ass keloid scar on my shoulder
my family keeps pushing me to see doctors and get rid of it somehow or whatever, even though it’s a keloid and if i “remove” it now, I’ll just have to do it again in a few years… my father’s reasoning is horribly flawed and comes down to the “fact” that if i don’t remove it, nobody will love me or be attracted to me. i guess i never realized how prevalent body policing really was until i got a little more into the study of feminism as opposed to just blindly supporting it (not that there’s anything wrong with that, i just didn’t know as much as i should have known at first).
things my dad says:
"it’s ugly." well, excuse me, but i didn’t realize i was supposed to give a single shit about what you think of my stupid shoulder. i don’t mind it, so either you get over it, or just stop bothering me about it.
"men won’t like you because of it." are you fucking kidding? tell me you’re joking, please! if there’s anyone out there who ever says to me, “oh yeah i’d totally love you and be with you forever if it weren’t for that scar on your shoulder,” i still won’t believe it. and anyway, it’ll be their problem for being an idiot. what kind of view of women does my dad have that he assumes i need to be looking for a man desperately enough that i go under the knife to get rid of some scar? why wouldn’t he think i’d rather be with someone i love/who loves me than someone who thinks i’m okay or hot or something (except for the scar)?
he actually said to me, "your future boyfriend shouldn’t be ashamed of you, he should be proud." this implies he is ashamed of the way his daughter looks because she has a large scar on her shoulder, and that i should be fighting for a way to make a square inch on my shoulder look more appealing to people i don’t actually care for at all.
the best part is, every time i go to defend myself against his stupid “points,” i end up being shushed on the grounds that 1. it doesn’t matter what i think because he doesn’t like it, and 2. he doesn’t want to discuss it because i disagree.
i’m still trying to figure out why the way i look is anyone else’s goddamn business.

thank you so much for sharing your story. It is somehow good to know who has a similar scar and a similar father.  Since I got my scar at 7 yr old my father has been telling me the exact same things: That it was ugly. It was hideous. That no one would want me. That it was shameful.
I  got under knife when I was 11 because my father talked so much about it. But the operation made it only worse. Until recently I never wore tank tops or dresses because I was seriously ashamed of it. I despised it. I despised myself. Even now I am not comfortable showing it around that much but I am kinda coming to terms with having a scar…

Completely me.

most beautiful thing i have ever read.